Wakey, Wakey

Eggs n Bakey!

So lately I've been noticing a trend on social media that show people using clever sentences to label their iPhone alarms that wake them up. Here's an example:

Guess I know what happens now since I haven't read the book.

Here's another from my friend Dita that cracked me up:

Oh so true.

So I decided to get in on the fun. 

Did I get the fuck up at 6? Nah, I decided to snooze for another hour & rush to work so my morning would seem more exciting ;)

Happy Tuesday planet Earth!

This pretty much happens at any family get together during baseball season

Chicago vs. Chicago: Round 1 from Nick Offerman

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“Put yourself out there and give yourself permission to suck. 
That’s not to say you should try to suck, but you have to give yourself permission to allow for the possibility of sucking. Without sucking, you’re never going to find your boundaries, and you’ll never push through those boundaries. 
That’s all it is. Constantly bumping into walls you do not think you can climb and then climbing until you get over them. There’s no mystery to it, no magic. It’s about dedication and constantly trying to improve.”Michael Ian Black, interview on The Rumpus

Please Allow Myself,

To introduce... Myself

Hey there, remember me? I know it's been quite sometime since I've actually posted some thoughts, words and pictures of my own on here, but I'm not sorry... you bitches ain't nobody!!!!
Totes Kidding!!!  You guys (whoever you are, as in most likely ONE person) are awesome and I am very sorry because I know you can't live another day without my wise words to guide your life.... right down the drain.

Anyways, this year has already slapped me sideways and tossed me around like a one dollar hooker in Vegas, but I'm enjoying it. Guess I finally know what I want to do with my life now... So since my last sincere post was about New Years resolutions and getting this mess of a life together, I figured I'd update y'all on just a few of my goals and achievements:

1. Go to church EVERY Sunday - Not proud of myself on this one, it's been 4 or 5 weeks since my last church appearance.
2. Exercise at LEAST 4 times a week and eat healthy - another disappointment; this week I'm back on track after my birthday month celebration (don't judge, there's no reason you should celebrate your birthday for ONE day) and have taken it upon myself to deactivate my "social internet life" that way I can focus on my goal and not be distracted by all the fun everyone else will be having, while I'm just eating salads & sweating like a pig... I want to cry thinking about it, but I can cry when I'm a skinny bitch.
3. Get my financial stabilities together - This is one goal that I have accomplished and have been doing pretty good with. I even got myself a part time waitressing job that I start this weekend (raising the roof y'all) so I can finally have a shithole apartment to call my own. Fingers crossed that I don't get fired on day one! 
4. Limit my alcohol intake to special occasions - Like most of my other goals, I only lasted a good month and a half on this one. I have been drinking almost every weekend and family event since February and that's not good folks! So since I'm going to be in my own little world of full time work, exercise, part time work and sleep for the next couple months I'm not going to have time for any alcohol intake and that is fabulous. Oh yeah, and I didn't puke on my bday celebration night! Holler!
5. Read more books - Honestly, the last book I read was the booklet attached to the liquor bottle I was drinking out of... the shame
6. No Douchebags - Well, this one I've aced because I've managed to block out any and all men that approach me. I should probably start responding to them soon before I am told "I heard you were a lesbian now" again... yes AGAIN, I was told that by an old friend I ran into about a year ago. I should've maneaten his ass to let him know that I'm strictly dickly!

So, now you know my year has been fairly decent & eventful and is only getting better from here!! Blink 182 wasn't messin' around with that song Dammit lol
Hope you guys have done better in the New Year Resolution department than I have!! 

Exes & Oh's hoes!

Love GeeRae

ManEating Chronicles -Red Flag Guy

me: UGH!!! GOODNESS GRIEF! That guy textd me again!
Slater: lmao what did he say now?
me: "you are not going to texts me back and say 'its okay i am not bothering you'? guess not lol have a good day bye"
WTF pyscho!
Slater: WHOA! RED FLAG!!! Right on his forehead! What a deuche
me: What a crazy!! Like seriously? What if im busy at work, not that I am, but what if I WAS?!
Slater: Real talk.
He's basically having a convo with himself, but texting it to you.

Oh yes he diiiiiiiid

So I have no idea who Andrew WK is or what music he makes, but he sounds like a keeper.

Advice Seeker: I’m dating a guy who refuses to give up on his dreams of rock stardom. While it’s admirable in a way, I need a little bit more stability if we’re going to make this work. How can I gently break this to him?

Andrew WK: Don’t you dare say anything to him about giving up his dream. You’re not the right person for him. Never ask someone to give up on their dream just so you can feel more stable. It’s his choice and his choice alone, no matter how ridiculous his dream may seem to you, or to society, or even to himself. Dreams make humans into self-realized individuals. Your only responsibility is to love everything about him, including his dreams. The idea of “making this work” sounds more like a way to make his life more boring and predictable. At worst, it’s a genuine sadistic desire to control someone else because your own life feels out of control — or a cruel need to dominate and break someone’s spirit for the sake of your own peace of mind. Look for stability and peace of mind inside yourself, and not in your relationships or the dreams of others

www.thefrisky.com

So True

Hilar

Kobe Bryant is a psychopath

Papa Roach or Papa Dough?

I absolutely despise these people on fb

Yes, we're all "stalkers" to a certain extent on Facebook.
Yes, it's possible to stumble on anyone's page out of curiosity.
No, I (nor probably 90% of the rest of people on Facebook) don't give two shats about where you work. If you really "have stalkers" & wanted to keep it a secret, you can hide that information all together on your page which you already know cause you obviously hid everything else.

Please get over yourself.
Thanks,
-The World