Showing posts with label Texting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Texting. Show all posts
Friday, April 27, 2012
Monday, October 24, 2011
Friendly texts
Do you ever get that text from your friend that makes you really nervous and anxious? It might say something like 'Hey, can we meet up? I need to tell you something...' or ' I need a favor...'.
It's like 'Hey, I want to tell you something, but I'm going to wait for your response to build the suspense'.
(PS. Don't you hate it when people leave a text with the '...' at the end. It's like wtf does that mean? Spit it out and finish your fuggin' sentence, don't make me bite my freshly painted nails for something stupid!)
Or do you ever get that text from your friend and you just know right off the bat that they're highly intoxicated? It might say something like: 'Bitch!!!!!!!!!!!'.
Just a straightforward insult with extra, extra enthusiasm portrayed by an excessive amount of explanation points.
Now, do you ever get that text from your friend that is just straight up crazy talk and makes you question if they are super wasted or super sober, but makes you appreciate them even more for being a fucking weirdo? It might say something like 'Using only movie titles, describe the last shit you took'...
...Yeah, I have great friends.
It's like 'Hey, I want to tell you something, but I'm going to wait for your response to build the suspense'.
(PS. Don't you hate it when people leave a text with the '...' at the end. It's like wtf does that mean? Spit it out and finish your fuggin' sentence, don't make me bite my freshly painted nails for something stupid!)
Or do you ever get that text from your friend and you just know right off the bat that they're highly intoxicated? It might say something like: 'Bitch!!!!!!!!!!!'.
Just a straightforward insult with extra, extra enthusiasm portrayed by an excessive amount of explanation points.
Now, do you ever get that text from your friend that is just straight up crazy talk and makes you question if they are super wasted or super sober, but makes you appreciate them even more for being a fucking weirdo? It might say something like 'Using only movie titles, describe the last shit you took'...
...Yeah, I have great friends.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Literally... No, seriously
I don't know how many times this has happened... and why it still does:
The Text
Him: "What's up"
The Analysis
K: I don’t think it’s that much of an exaggeration to say that people who only text “what’s up” all the time should be banished to an island that is slowly sinking.
B: He sends this text to me every couple of weeks, on Friday nights.
K: Once a fortnight?!?
B: Yes. Once a fortnight.
K: He’s basically providing you with opportunities to reply "not much, wanna do it?"
B: I mean, yeah, he's just politely reminding me that he and his penis are still in the world.
K: Aren't he and his penis still dating a 19-year-old?
B: Yes, but he and his penis are nothing if not inclusive.
K: You should just start replying with literally everything you did that day.
B: Yes! Like, "Hey, not much! I had some crazy-good cereal this morning and walked my dog. She...shit...everywhere. Lol, gross. So I took her to the vet and the vet was like 'omg cute dog' and I was like 'omg I know right' and she was like 'haha but really your dog needs some heartworm medicine' and I was like 'fiiiiiine.' Then basically I was just at work all day! At lunch I painted my nails this really great coral pink color. Or really it's like, nectarine-y. It's hard to describe via text, want a pic?!?"
Read more on how girls over analyze text messages here , this woman is hilarious.
p.s. If I was smart I could just say I was hanging out with my boyfriend... even if he's imaginary, whatever will make these guys stop.
The Text
Him: "What's up"
The Analysis
K: I don’t think it’s that much of an exaggeration to say that people who only text “what’s up” all the time should be banished to an island that is slowly sinking.
B: He sends this text to me every couple of weeks, on Friday nights.
K: Once a fortnight?!?
B: Yes. Once a fortnight.
K: He’s basically providing you with opportunities to reply "not much, wanna do it?"
B: I mean, yeah, he's just politely reminding me that he and his penis are still in the world.
K: Aren't he and his penis still dating a 19-year-old?
B: Yes, but he and his penis are nothing if not inclusive.
K: You should just start replying with literally everything you did that day.
B: Yes! Like, "Hey, not much! I had some crazy-good cereal this morning and walked my dog. She...shit...everywhere. Lol, gross. So I took her to the vet and the vet was like 'omg cute dog' and I was like 'omg I know right' and she was like 'haha but really your dog needs some heartworm medicine' and I was like 'fiiiiiine.' Then basically I was just at work all day! At lunch I painted my nails this really great coral pink color. Or really it's like, nectarine-y. It's hard to describe via text, want a pic?!?"
Read more on how girls over analyze text messages here , this woman is hilarious.
p.s. If I was smart I could just say I was hanging out with my boyfriend... even if he's imaginary, whatever will make these guys stop.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Call Me Old Fashioned...
but I prefer a phone call over a text. Texting is so impersonal. When you just need to get across a simple message like "Meet me at 5 at blah blah" then yeah, it's ok. What I don't like is when guys start talking to a girl and they try to have a full blown conversation via text asking question after question. Why don't you stop being so damn lazy and call me?!? Does the sound of my voice really make your ears bleed? Well if so, leave me alone then! And then some guys get so comfortable with texting, that it's all they want to do. I'm not in 4th grade, I don't need a fucking pen pal.
Texting a cute little message during the day is acceptable and I understand not everyone is lucky enough to sit at their computer all day doing absolutely nothing productive....... But after work when you're at home sitting on your couch watching garbage tv and texting a girl question after question waiting for her to respond and you immediately write back when she does, why wouldn't you just pick up the phone and call her? Also, the tone of a person's text. That is the worst when two people cannot understand each other's tones and one person gets slightly offended or worse, creeped out if the other person is joking. But that is a whole notha pickle for a different day!
I recently came across a blog written by a man on HowAboutWe that says texting is better than a call... Lazy. Ass. Bullshit. Here are the reasons they came up with and underneath are my reasons for calling bullshit.
7 Reasons Texts Are Better Than Phone Calls
1) Because you can actually think about what you're going to say.
Hand me a telephone, and I will say something stupid into it. Hand me a telephone with someone I like on the other end, and I will say something really stupid. With a text, you can plan, and yes, even revise.
BS: Gay. Girls like a quick, witty and ORIGINAL man. Now I understand not all men are quick and witty but having to sit there and think about what you're going to say and erasing what you first had isn't very original. When you're on the phone, what you really would think and say comes out just naturally vs. having a few minutes to try and be witty. After all, you want this girl to like the REAL YOU; not the guy who has to over analyze everything he says because he's scared she won't like him after. If you say something stupid, I'm sure she will be able to just giggle it off and carry on with the convo.
2) Because phone calls can be painfully awkward.
Even if you have perfect elocution, a great speaking voice, and fantastic oratorical skills, factors such as poor cell-phone reception or other interruptions (another call, an ambulance driving by, a barking dog) can lead to uncomfortable interruptions. There's nothing worse than speaking to someone on the phone for the first time and having to continually say "Wait--what? Sorry, can you hear me? Wait, hold on, walking by construction site..." over and over.
BS: Take off your kid Spiderman chonies and put on your grown man Calvin Klein briefs. Everything is awkward at first, just be confident and know she's not going to dump you after your first phone convo and if she does, then eff her! Call when you know it will be a good time to talk and if you REALLY cannot wait to speak to her then text her and say something like hey "Is it cool if I call you when I get (insert place) cause I can't hear a thing but I definitely want to hear your voice". You could even throw in a smiley or winkey face and I can guarantee a smile will stretch across her face cause it says "I'm interested and I want to talk to you and I want to make sure you have time to talk to me"... Plus, bitches love smiley faces.
3) Because a good text message will say a lot about a person.
A perfect text message requires wit, brevity, and flirtation. A good texter is smart, sharp, and good with words. Additionally, someone who uses unnecessary text abbreviations, or, god help him, emoticons is immediately ruled out as a potential love interest.
BS: Ok the above is true; but you could also be making her wait a couple hours for that "perfect" thing to say to her when it finally comes to you and if you keep using quirky and witty replies, she will probably think you're a pro at it and assume you are a player. A few sharp and flirty replies are cute, just not all the time. Also for the emoticons, see #2 about smiley faces.
4) Because texting can be great foreplay.
It's a prolonged flirtation that can span the course of the week or day leading up to a date.
No BS on this one. Next!
5) Because there is nothing sexy about a perfunctory "let's set up a date" call.
Sure, a phone call is "to the point", and on a purely utilitarian level more efficient than texting when it comes to making plans. But are you really looking for "efficiency" in your dating life? You call to quickly make an appointment with your dentist, not with your date.
BS: Really? I wasn't aware that any text implying "Want to have dinner Saturday at 8?" could be sexy. Plus, who cares if that text is sexy?? It's what you say to her when you're with her that needs to be charming. Why is this guy always trying to be sexy? Someone listened to wayyy too much JT that morning.
6) Because a text lets you write what you're too shy to say.
Sometimes, especially during the early stages of dating, it can be hard to straight out say the things you're feeling, especially if you're unsure of how it will be reciprocated. A "You looked beautiful last night" or "I had an amazing time with you" the next morning is a safe (and always appreciated!) way of doing this.
Ok, there's really no BS on this one... the whole "I had an amazing time with you" text is cute. Just don't be afraid to say these things to her after your first couple of rendezvous because girls love to hear these comments, not just read them.
7) Because a text is forever.
I usually don't swoon at phone calls, but if I get an excellently crafted text, I will save that thing forever, and pull it up and read it again and again.
BS: Until the next drunken night out and the phone gets dropped in a toilet, then it's all down the drain ;)
Texting a cute little message during the day is acceptable and I understand not everyone is lucky enough to sit at their computer all day doing absolutely nothing productive....... But after work when you're at home sitting on your couch watching garbage tv and texting a girl question after question waiting for her to respond and you immediately write back when she does, why wouldn't you just pick up the phone and call her? Also, the tone of a person's text. That is the worst when two people cannot understand each other's tones and one person gets slightly offended or worse, creeped out if the other person is joking. But that is a whole notha pickle for a different day!
I recently came across a blog written by a man on HowAboutWe that says texting is better than a call... Lazy. Ass. Bullshit. Here are the reasons they came up with and underneath are my reasons for calling bullshit.
7 Reasons Texts Are Better Than Phone Calls
1) Because you can actually think about what you're going to say.
Hand me a telephone, and I will say something stupid into it. Hand me a telephone with someone I like on the other end, and I will say something really stupid. With a text, you can plan, and yes, even revise.
BS: Gay. Girls like a quick, witty and ORIGINAL man. Now I understand not all men are quick and witty but having to sit there and think about what you're going to say and erasing what you first had isn't very original. When you're on the phone, what you really would think and say comes out just naturally vs. having a few minutes to try and be witty. After all, you want this girl to like the REAL YOU; not the guy who has to over analyze everything he says because he's scared she won't like him after. If you say something stupid, I'm sure she will be able to just giggle it off and carry on with the convo.
2) Because phone calls can be painfully awkward.
Even if you have perfect elocution, a great speaking voice, and fantastic oratorical skills, factors such as poor cell-phone reception or other interruptions (another call, an ambulance driving by, a barking dog) can lead to uncomfortable interruptions. There's nothing worse than speaking to someone on the phone for the first time and having to continually say "Wait--what? Sorry, can you hear me? Wait, hold on, walking by construction site..." over and over.
BS: Take off your kid Spiderman chonies and put on your grown man Calvin Klein briefs. Everything is awkward at first, just be confident and know she's not going to dump you after your first phone convo and if she does, then eff her! Call when you know it will be a good time to talk and if you REALLY cannot wait to speak to her then text her and say something like hey "Is it cool if I call you when I get (insert place) cause I can't hear a thing but I definitely want to hear your voice". You could even throw in a smiley or winkey face and I can guarantee a smile will stretch across her face cause it says "I'm interested and I want to talk to you and I want to make sure you have time to talk to me"... Plus, bitches love smiley faces.
3) Because a good text message will say a lot about a person.
A perfect text message requires wit, brevity, and flirtation. A good texter is smart, sharp, and good with words. Additionally, someone who uses unnecessary text abbreviations, or, god help him, emoticons is immediately ruled out as a potential love interest.
BS: Ok the above is true; but you could also be making her wait a couple hours for that "perfect" thing to say to her when it finally comes to you and if you keep using quirky and witty replies, she will probably think you're a pro at it and assume you are a player. A few sharp and flirty replies are cute, just not all the time. Also for the emoticons, see #2 about smiley faces.
4) Because texting can be great foreplay.
It's a prolonged flirtation that can span the course of the week or day leading up to a date.
No BS on this one. Next!
5) Because there is nothing sexy about a perfunctory "let's set up a date" call.
Sure, a phone call is "to the point", and on a purely utilitarian level more efficient than texting when it comes to making plans. But are you really looking for "efficiency" in your dating life? You call to quickly make an appointment with your dentist, not with your date.
BS: Really? I wasn't aware that any text implying "Want to have dinner Saturday at 8?" could be sexy. Plus, who cares if that text is sexy?? It's what you say to her when you're with her that needs to be charming. Why is this guy always trying to be sexy? Someone listened to wayyy too much JT that morning.
6) Because a text lets you write what you're too shy to say.
Sometimes, especially during the early stages of dating, it can be hard to straight out say the things you're feeling, especially if you're unsure of how it will be reciprocated. A "You looked beautiful last night" or "I had an amazing time with you" the next morning is a safe (and always appreciated!) way of doing this.
Ok, there's really no BS on this one... the whole "I had an amazing time with you" text is cute. Just don't be afraid to say these things to her after your first couple of rendezvous because girls love to hear these comments, not just read them.
7) Because a text is forever.
I usually don't swoon at phone calls, but if I get an excellently crafted text, I will save that thing forever, and pull it up and read it again and again.
BS: Until the next drunken night out and the phone gets dropped in a toilet, then it's all down the drain ;)
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