Yup, it's my new nick name. It amazes me that as a grown adult, there are just so many tasks that should still require parental supervision for me. I guess if there's any possible way to screw something up, I will.
Example 1: Music Concert:
My sister took me to the Mariah Carey concert as my Christmas present and of course we had our girls night all planned out which required very little to no effort at my part besides not being too hungover or drunk before the concert and be ready on time. She picks me up for the concert, we start gettin' our drank on, we do the whole "Let's try and find parking Downtown on a Saturday night" and start our walk in high heels from the parking garage to the venue. Well of course half way there I realize I left my damn ticket in the car which was parked like 3 blocks back... I know some of you are thinking only 3 blocks but I'm from a city that you really never walk anywhere because it's so damn hot out all the time. Plus I'm wearing 4 inch heels and sightly buzzing, so that shit is far! On my long walk back and forth I just thought 'How could I possibly manage to forget the only thing I actually need for a concert?!'. All was ok though because that diva Mariah was only FORTY minutes late for her show.
Example 2: Spring Training Game
My family is from Chicago. Both of my parents were born and raised there, so of course half of my family are White Sox fans and the other delusional half are Cubs fans. In Arizona we are blessed to have awesome weather in March which starts the MLB Spring Training season. So when the White Sox play the Cubs, Chicago fans instinctively flow in like the salmon of Capistrono. Well this year I purchased 8 tickets online for myself and other family members and told them I would print them out. We planned on meeting up at a local watering hole then head to the game from there. Well unbeknownst to me, my Mom had decided to print her 4 tickets too so when we were at the bar, she told me and I put 4 of the tickets back in my car. We leave the bar in high spirits, find parking, walk all the way up to the field, and our adrenaline is pumping seeing all the fans exchange trash talk. Then we start getting our tickets scanned only to find out my Ma and I both had the same set of 4 tickets... Mutha... EFF! It wouldn't be that big of a deal for me to walk back to my car and get the other 4 tickets... if my car was the one we actually drove to the ballpark! My car with our Golden Tickets was still in the parking lot of the bar miles away. Luckily, we were able to get our other tickets from the box office to enjoy the game. My bad!
Do you really need one more? Ok.
Example 3: Frozen Pizza
This weekend my ninja sister in law and I decided we would be bums and stay home on Saturday night for movies and some frozen pizza. I preheat the oven to 400 degrees, take the pizza out of the box and plastic wrapping then throw it on the oven tray and pop that baby in. 20 minutes later the timer goes off, I check it and it looks like it needs a few more minutes. When it's ready I get it out of the oven, let it cool off then use my pizza cutting skills acquired as a former Pizza Hut employee and hand Ninja her pizza slices. After a bite, she says to me "This is totally not done". My first reaction is to say "You're face isn't done!", but then I look at the pizza on the oven tray and realize no, it's not done at all and our pizza has a layer of cardboard on the bottom of it!! Apparently I didn't remember that all frozen pizzas have that cardboard layer at the bottom and that doesn't go in the oven with the pizza. Note to self for next time: Delivery, not DiGiorno.
Thank God I don't live on my own.
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