Come On Little Miss & Do The Twist

Lately there have been quite a few situations I've been in where one of those giant straws that twirls & twists (preferably in green), would it make my life a lot easier.

1. When I'm driving around and don't want to let go of the wheel to take a drink. 
2. When I'm just too lazy to sit up while I'm laying on the couch, and my cup is on the floor. Insert giant twirly straw and boom, problem solved.

I guess you could just have a really long straight straw, but the twisty ones in cool colors that take like 30 seconds just to get your beverage in your mouth just look more appropriate. 

Plus drinking from a straw prevents beverages from staining those pearly whites ;)

Literally

They are calling my name. 

This Is So Me At Work

Holla for a Dolla!

I love the dollar store. So much junk in there you never knew you needed until you see it's only a buck! Yesterday I hit two different dollar stores and have amusing stories about each of them.

Dolla Holla Mission 1: Christmas decorations for office
Since we are being forced to have some Holiday office cheer this year, I was instructed to go get cheap decorations to spiff up my lobby because having a tree wasn't enough. So a coworker and I hit Dollar Tree and the main thing I was in search for were a couple of boxes of cheap lights to hang around my desk. I see the lights they have and on the box it said 5.1ft so I figured two boxes would be plenty. When we return to the office, I unravel the lights only to find out I've been bamboozled. I asked my coworker how tall I look and she says about 5'4 to which I reply "Well apparently I must be as tall as Lamar Odom to the Dollar Tree". Cot damn lights are only about 3 feet long and there's 2 feet of just cord and to top it off, there's no damn connector at the end to hook up another set. These kinds of details should be specified!! I guess that's why they're only a dollar.

Dolla Holla Mission 2: Help my niece combine a Secret Santa gift for under $5
My Secret Santa niece needed some help on what to get her friend for under $5, so I told her we'd go to the dollar store and make a little basket of gifts. We picked out nail polishes, nail polish remover, cotton balls, and nail files and put them in a cute Christmas bucket, boom. 5 bucks. During our hunt, we stumbled upon the Dog section with food, treats, leashes and then... stripper dog clothes for small dogs. Seriously. There were cheetah prints, sparkles, glitter and SHEER shirts. Does a dog really need a sheer shirt with zebra print and sequins on it so you can see through it and think to yourself "That is one sexy little bitch"??? Actually, does anyone really need a shirt like that? The answer is no. So needless to say, my sister and I couldn't resist but to buy 2 of these outfits for her Chihuahuas (which are like my children) to help them stay warm in their doghouse. I know what you're thinking, and the answer is YES! Of course we did a family photo shoot!!

Happy Holidays!! Love Cocoa, Chapo & Gina

Life Is Like A Box Of Chocolates

Your coworkers that are allergic to nuts never know what they're going to get.
Ps. Is it pure Irony that your gay male coworker is allergic to nuts?

Random Conversation from the Weekend

*Playing Kings cup at 1 in the afternoon*

Ninja: So no names?
Me: No, that's my rule.
Ninja: So I can't say FAH-Gina?
Me: Look, this is Name Mountain (holds hand up high) and this is you (holds other hand down low). And you, you're just a fetus, it's pretty much impossible for you to get to the top of Name Mountain.
Ninja: Master Splinter is on top of fecal mountain
Me: .............. Who's next?

Gee Whizz

Everyday I read that more and more single people are confessing that they don't see themselves getting married or settling down. Our generation has reached the point where we believe it is better to be successful in our careers than to be successful emotionally. What the hell is happening to us? Like I know we're going through this economic recession and money problems get people down, dating is expensive, but is it really consuming our wallets and our hope? Are we living through an economic recession or is it an emotional recession?
Maybe it's not the economy. Maybe it's our generation. Our parents and grandparents grew up to believe that a successful life was about falling passionately in love with someone, having great friends, starting a family, and having a good job to support your loved ones. I feel like now it's all backwards and so many people have given up on finding someone to feel passionately about because our main priority is to "succeed" with a career then if we have time, we'll find someone who will love us. I understand that people want to have financial stability which requires education and hard work, but are we being so brainwashed to be workaholics and money focused that we are forgetting the meaning of life? I was raised to believe that you surround yourself with those you love and you find a way to make it through thick and thin, but the main thing was to Love. Maybe I'm sounding like a complete hopeless romantic right now, but I refuse to give up on finding love.
I guess that's what I get for watching stupid romantic comedies... Whatever.

Tis The Season

To GIVE.

Yesterday I finally took a box of clothes & shoes that have been in my trunk for the last month or so to the Goodwill.

After Thanksgiving I realized how much I am thankful for and then thought about all the other people in this world, country and my very own STATE who don't even have half of the things I do. Normally I can be as selfish as any other single person would be, my time is all for me going out and having fun. But since it's the holidays I figured this is the perfect excuse to switch it up, so I decided I'm going to be giving a lot more for others in need for the remainder of this month wether it's money or time or maybe someone who just needs someone to hangout with.

Bring on your needs bitches!!!!!!

Sounds like someone I know

Via TextsFromBennett

Talk about drunk vagina

(And I'm not talking about myself either)

Apparently it's cool to get drunk with a tampon?