Dear Guy Who Does Not Know He's Gay

Please just stop.

Here's a little story about how I came to know this fabulous creep.

G: Yo, who's this O guy you know?
A: K's friend. Why?
G: He requested me.
A: K used to date him. She said she knew she was his coverup. Does he know you?
G: I don't think so... I liked his comment on your Black Swan status and now he requested me.
A: He comments on my pictures and always hits on me but he's a total female about everything.
I always wondered if he was gay.
Dude one night he stayed up venting about how he wants love and crap, ew
G: Well does he have money? If so, then we can be friends
A: Yeah seems like he does
G: Wow, his pics do look gay
A: Yep
G: Hmmm I'll let that request simmer over night, maybe I'll want a new gay friend tomorrow morning.


...Weeks Later
A: You guys were right:
O's Facebook status: "if a guy has pierced tongue, he'll probably suck your..."
G: Does he have his tongue pierced?
A: Nooooope.
So he's definitely talking about a boytoy
G: Ha! Definitely.
G: I cannot get over how gay he is and when will he come out.
He HAS to be gay! He has the fuggin gayest tattoos ever, might as well have unicorns n shit


...Recently
A: I think I may have to delete O
G: What'd the gay creep do now?!
A: Picture comments and then he g-mailed me repeating his picture comments.
I just wanna be like ARE YOU GAY OR NOT!?!?
G: Do it, we'll be able to sleep at night.
It's not like he's your friend... Well, like, YOUR real off the internet friend, he's K's gay friend. 
A: His comments were like: DAMN GIRL, I WANNA MAKE THE SAME REQUEST, DAMN GIRL YOU ARE DANGEROUS, YOU ARE KILLING ME WITH THOSE CURVES. Fucking WEIRD
G: Dude just ask him.
I shouldn't have deleted him, then I'd be able to do it... Damnit.


....Moments ago
A: Okay I know this is gonna sound weird and unreal, but I think O's facebook statuses...I'm not even kidding... have been about ME.
Cause he tries to message me and I ignore and look at these:
*pastes ridiculous status updates that are clearly for a curvy woman whom he is obsessed with*
G: Dag. You should just get him down to his rainbow chonies and see if he'd really go thru with it.
He'll probably be like "EEWWEEEYYY I CAN'T DO THISSSSSS"
A: *pastes more crazy status updates*
G: I'm sure he's creeping on multiple women... and men with curves.
But yeah, you're def one of them