Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Thank You notes aren't always good


A conversation between a coworker & I regarding the Thank You note I wrote him (which thanked him for being annoying and giving me someone to be mean to, and for bringing in his wife's delicious baked goods)

Me: I would just like to make one last comment about the thank you note that you were sooooooooo priveledged to receive from me...

SP: ok all ears

Me: At least it said thank you for something in particular, like being annoying and more importantly, for sharing your wife's wonderful goodies. I'll have you know that I made our IT guy a thank you note and on the inside, his said: FOR NOTHING

So yours was actually nice, you should feel really good about yourself now

SP: Poor Rick i understand his pain. But I do feel good, really good; that was a good diet coke i just had

Me: Wow, you two should link up and start a group so you can cry to each other instead of to yourself in the mirror.

SP: what the 'dudes against senseless gina violence' group?


Me: more like senior citizens, not dudes

SP: ok "senior citizens against  senseless gina violence."


Me: I'm not violent though. Maybe mentally abusive, mayyyyyyyyyybe. I'd like to think of it more as motivating

SP: thats violences ugly cousin


Me: Whoa whoa whoa, now you're calling my cousin ugly? Wow, who's the real bully here?

SP: im not violent though, bullies are violent.


Me: I didnt say you were violent

SP: maybe mentally abusive, mayyyyyyyyyybe


Me: every bit of your being is mentally abusive to anyone in your path

SP: my being isn't made of bits, its made of atoms. I'm not a computer program.

Me: every organism of your being. Even the thought of you is quite revolting.

SP: i told you im made of atoms. I'll have to ask beetlejuice what you are made of


Me: Sometimes when I think of you, I want to punch a newborn baby...
right in the throat

SP: you might get in trouble if you punched a newborn and blaming me might not hold up in court


Me: Well, if i explain the situation, Im sure any judge would understand... Actually it would just most likely cause a domino effect of newborn babies being punched, one person explaining it to the next then punching a baby... Or it would just be one brutally beaten newborn baby.
The choice is yours.

SP: "your honor, prior to said newborn beating, i thought of scott.  when i think of scott i want to punch babies.  it is therefore not my fault but his your honor."


Me: Now that is logic, powerful

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