Showing posts with label Bringing Sexy Back. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bringing Sexy Back. Show all posts

Friday, September 30, 2011

Dear Extremely Sexy Shirtless Man

Dear Extremely Sexy Shirtless Man Running Down The Street,

Thank you.

Sincerely,
All Women in Northern Glendale


I've always thought this was like a "vanity girl thing" to do, until this last week. Of course most females are not likely to exercise in public shirtless (unless intoxicated), the vain ones just wear their sports bra & a pair of tiny shorts in the gym so everyone knows they have less than 12% body fat without them having to say it out loud. Well during this last week on my way to and from work, I've seen two different men on two different main streets running shirtless with only black shorts on. Please note that I am only thanking one of these men because he happened to be wearing shorts that I deemed as an appropriate length and not a pair of Speedos like the first guy I saw. I probably would've continued to gawk at him too if it wasn't for his super tight Daisy Dukes which instantly made me think that no straight man would dare to run down such a busy street like that... or would he??? Guys, you tell me. Well upon seeing the second running man on my way home from work, I instantly turned into a New York construction worker thinking & saying all kinds of obscenities to myself in my car... With my windows up of course, I am a lady!

My instinctive animal behavior made me think of how the "vain run down the street in skimpy clothing" isn't something only women like to do; Men are into this too cause I witnessed it twice in one work week. Normally when I see women doing this, my initial thought is 'Show off!!' (only cause I'm totally jealous of her rockin' body), but then when I seen the guys doing it I thought 'Hellllllloooo!". When men see a shirtless guy who's in good shape running down the street, do they think the same way? Do you think he's just showing off for the hot ladies driving down the street? Or did I just drink too much Hatorade? At first I felt a slight bit of guilt for acting like a 16 year old girl (slight is the keyword here), but then I thought of how many men see half nekkid women running down the street and they honk or roll down their windows to shout perverted things at them. So the guilt I felt was overruled.

Maybe two wrongs do make a right??
No? Whatever.



Monday, September 26, 2011

Broke Girls Guide

Last week was National Singles Week and to honor this, my best single cousin, my friend who should be single and myself went out Friday night and let the West side of Phoenix know we love being single! None of us had money to spend on getting ourselves drunk, so we decided we'd make it a point to have all the guys buy our drinks as an exchange for our company... for 2 minutes of course. The night was a complete success and we got our free drinks all night and left the club with Australian accents. I forgot how fun it is to go out and just to be slightly obnoxious.
After recovering the next day, I realized you've got to have a plan to have a good night like these 'cause we all know every single night you go out doesn't mean you're going to have a blasty blast. So I've come up with a Broke Girls Guide to help you have a great night out with your gal pals when your funds are low.

Your Attitude
You must keep a positive attitude when getting ready and driving out to your destination that you're going to have a great night. Time for Lady Balls!! Get dolled up and wear your favorite outfit and listen to cheesy ass music to get you pumped up and if you can, pregame it up! A couple drinks before you go out will always get you and the girls to loosen up a little.

Your Gang
Don't take out that friend of yours who is a complete bitch to guys just because she doesn't see herself ever banging him. We all know the only reason 99.9% of men are in the club is because they are looking for some strange. Make sure your girls took their Act-Right and are willing to talk to any guy who wants to buy your gang a round. Just because you talk to him for a minute or two, doesn't mean you need to go home with him or even give him your number at that (even though that's what he's thinking- I'm most certainly not trying to have your babies tonight creepy dude, you can go away now). But I'm definitely not going to descriminate any guy who wants to buy me a drink or two when my broke ass doesn't have money to! Plus I'm sure if he's a super creep, security won't mind helping taking care of him... they have nothing else to do and maybe you can make a new insider friend for your next night out ;)

Your Motive
Please remember your motive of going out when you're broke: To flirt and get free drinks so you and your gals could have a fabulous night 'cause you're all smokin' hot. NOT so you could have a drunken meltdown at the end of the night because you didn't find Prince Charming and you're still single. Be goofy, dance till your feet hurt, talk to guys who you normally wouldn't talk to and most importantly: don't forget the camera!

To all the men this has offended, I apologize... The truth hurts.
It's good to have a vagina.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Eyebrows

Hi, my name is Gina and I am obsessed with eyebrows. It is said that eyebrows frame your face and are the windows to your soul... That last part is a bit of a stretch, but I definitely agree that they frame your face.

When I'm not doing the eyebrow dance, sometimes I like to put my index fingers over my eyebrows and see what I would look like without my brows; it's really creepy how different you look. Or sometimes, I use my index finger and pull up the skin in between my brows and it makes me look like I'm extremely worried about something. Go ahead, give it a shot then check yourself out in the mirror. Why so seriousssss?

Anyways, I love it when I see a set of well groomed, FULL brows. I mentally high five that person or usually just tell them I love their brows. Not too long ago I asked my sister if she thinks Latisse (the serum to make your eyelashes grow) would work on my brows, that could work right?? No? Whatever. This fall I'm bringin' sexy back and growing some bushy brows while strutting around in my red lipstick with my lady balls in full effect! I'm thinking I want to shape them like my two girl crushes for eyebrows: Jennifer Connelly and Penelope Cruz, I lust for these eyebrows!


 


Men, don't feel left out! I am a sucker for a full set of brows on a guy too. There is nothing sexier to me than a man with full eyebrows... who also opens my beer.
siiiiigh....
When are you going to come in my life and sweep me off my feet Josh Hartnett so we can make bushy eye brow babies?

Friday, September 16, 2011

Lady Balls... Do you have them?


Lady Balls- being brave enough to step out of your comfort zone and do something you normally wouldn't, with complete confidence.
i.e. "I wanted to wear that bold red shade of lipstick to work this morning, but I didn't have the Lady Balls to."

That's my definition for it anyways. You gals should bring out your Lady Balls at least once a week!
Just make sure you're not talking to your coworkers about your lady balls or lack thereof when the President of your company walks by =/



Monday, September 12, 2011

Call Me Old Fashioned...

but I prefer a phone call over a text. Texting is so impersonal. When you just need to get across a simple message like "Meet me at 5 at blah blah" then yeah, it's ok. What I don't like is when guys start talking to a girl and they try to have a full blown conversation via text asking question after question. Why don't you stop being so damn lazy and call me?!? Does the sound of my voice really make your ears bleed? Well if so, leave me alone then! And then some guys get so comfortable with texting, that it's all they want to do. I'm not in 4th grade, I don't need a fucking pen pal.
Texting a cute little message during the day is acceptable and I understand not everyone is lucky enough to sit at their computer all day doing absolutely nothing productive....... But after work when you're at home sitting on your couch watching garbage tv and texting a girl question after question waiting for her to respond and you immediately write back when she does, why wouldn't you just pick up the phone and call her? Also, the tone of a person's text. That is the worst when two people cannot understand each other's tones and one person gets slightly offended or worse, creeped out if the other person is joking. But that is a whole notha pickle for a different day!

I recently came across a blog written by a man on HowAboutWe that says texting is better than a call... Lazy. Ass. Bullshit. Here are the reasons they came up with and underneath are my reasons for calling bullshit.

7 Reasons Texts Are Better Than Phone Calls 

1) Because you can actually think about what you're going to say.
Hand me a telephone, and I will say something stupid into it. Hand me a telephone with someone I like on the other end, and I will say something really stupid. With a text, you can plan, and yes, even revise.
BS: Gay. Girls like a quick, witty and ORIGINAL man. Now I understand not all men are quick and witty but having to sit there and think about what you're going to say and erasing what you first had isn't very original. When you're on the phone, what you really would think and say comes out just naturally vs. having a few minutes to try and be witty. After all, you want this girl to like the REAL YOU; not the guy who has to over analyze everything he says because he's scared she won't like him after. If you say something stupid, I'm sure she will be able to just giggle it off and carry on with the convo.

2) Because phone calls can be painfully awkward.
Even if you have perfect elocution, a great speaking voice, and fantastic oratorical skills, factors such as poor cell-phone reception or other interruptions (another call, an ambulance driving by, a barking dog) can lead to uncomfortable interruptions. There's nothing worse than speaking to someone on the phone for the first time and having to continually say "Wait--what? Sorry, can you hear me? Wait, hold on, walking by construction site..." over and over.
BS: Take off your kid Spiderman chonies and put on your grown man Calvin Klein briefs. Everything is awkward at first, just be confident and know she's not going to dump you after your first phone convo and if she does, then eff her! Call when you know it will be a good time to talk and if you REALLY cannot wait to speak to her then text her and say something like hey "Is it cool if I call you when I get (insert place) cause I can't hear a thing but I definitely want to hear your voice". You could even throw in a smiley or winkey face and I can guarantee a smile will stretch across her face cause it says "I'm interested and I want to talk to you and I want to make sure you have time to talk to me"... Plus, bitches love smiley faces.

3) Because a good text message will say a lot about a person.
A perfect text message requires wit, brevity, and flirtation. A good texter is smart, sharp, and good with words. Additionally, someone who uses unnecessary text abbreviations, or, god help him, emoticons is immediately ruled out as a potential love interest.
BS: Ok the above is true; but you could also be making her wait a couple hours for that "perfect" thing to say to her when it finally comes to you and if you keep using quirky and witty replies, she will probably think you're a pro at it and assume you are a player. A few sharp and flirty replies are cute, just not all the time. Also for the emoticons, see #2 about smiley faces.

4) Because texting can be great foreplay.
It's a prolonged flirtation that can span the course of the week or day leading up to a date.
No BS on this one. Next!

5) Because there is nothing sexy about a perfunctory "let's set up a date" call.
Sure, a phone call is "to the point", and on a purely utilitarian level more efficient than texting when it comes to making plans. But are you really looking for "efficiency" in your dating life? You call to quickly make an appointment with your dentist, not with your date.
BS: Really? I wasn't aware that any text implying "Want to have dinner Saturday at 8?" could be sexy. Plus, who cares if that text is sexy?? It's what you say to her when you're with her that needs to be charming. Why is this guy always trying to be sexy? Someone listened to wayyy too much JT that morning.

6) Because a text lets you write what you're too shy to say.
Sometimes, especially during the early stages of dating, it can be hard to straight out say the things you're feeling, especially if you're unsure of how it will be reciprocated. A "You looked beautiful last night" or "I had an amazing time with you" the next morning is a safe (and always appreciated!) way of doing this.
Ok, there's really no BS on this one... the whole "I had an amazing time with you" text is cute. Just don't be afraid to say these things to her after your first couple of rendezvous because girls love to hear these comments, not just read them.


7) Because a text is forever.
I usually don't swoon at phone calls, but if I get an excellently crafted text, I will save that thing forever, and pull it up and read it again and again.
BS: Until the next drunken night out and the phone gets dropped in a toilet, then it's all down the drain ;)