Maybe

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B!tch I'm the BOMB

like bitch, BITCH!

Yes, I have a lot of down time at work to make drawings on my coworkers whiteboards.

I do what I can to bring a smile to other's faces.

Life Is Like A Box Of Chocolates

Your coworkers that are allergic to nuts never know what they're going to get.
Ps. Is it pure Irony that your gay male coworker is allergic to nuts?

The Shit My Boss Says Vol. 2

I think my boss has been with our company for so long (I'm pretty sure 14 years) that he needs a refresher of appropriate office behavior and sexual harassment. I know the title says Vol. 2 and I haven't written about this topic before, but read this story first so you catch my drift. Yeah, I just said "catch my drift". Suck it.

Ok, that right there, Volume One. Strange and awkward.

Now here's what happened yesterday.
My boss is at my desk talking to me about work related issues when a female employee comes to the front glass door waiting for me to push my remote button to unlock the door. Our office is very secured with card readers at every door so employees need their badges at all times to enter the suite. My boss is known for harassing our employees forgetting / not having their badges on them, so as he steps in front of the sensor that opens the door for her he immediately hits her with the "Where's your badge? That's your tool for work, would you leave your tools at home?" question routine. She cuts him off saying "It's on my desk". Well this woman just so happened to be wearing her white dress (after Labor Day?? jk) that doesn't have pockets so I understand why she doesn't have her badge clipped to her. Well my boss checks her out and notices yeah, she's in a dress and that it's V neck so he replies with "Well why didn't you just put it" then motions to store her badge in her tits....

I'm pretty sure my jaw dropped waiting for her response or a slap to his face when he notices the quiet second and immediately starts blabbering on saying "Well I'm just saying I've seen girls put all kinds of stuff like cell phones and debit cards and things in there!" She just kinda laughed then proceeded to walk away as fast as possible when he kept going on about "One time I seen a girl pull out a giant" and then I had to stop listening because I needed to take in what just happened. This woman is in her 40's and married to someone else that works in our office!! Who does that?? Oh yeah, my boss...

HR anyone???

THEY KNOW!

I don't know why, but I still get embarrassed when I have to go to the store to buy feminine products. I'm a grown ass twenty-five year old woman! Why am I still slightly embarrassed when I have to go down this aisle of products? Could this be from my early stages of womanhood and living with 4 men in the house, I've brainwashed myself to keep this topic taboo and feel embarrassed by it? Possibly, I guess I'm just still immature in many ways... Oh the joy of having 4 brothers!!

I think it's funny cause I only feel embarrassed when there are men around. For instance, I always think: "What if a smokin' hot guy walks by when I'm grabbing some? Then he'll KNOW it's that time of the month and want to stay as far away from me as possible!". If a smokin' hot woman was next to me she would only pitty me then direct me to the nearest aisle full of chocolate bars. And then there's a more horrible thought: "What if some guy I know or coworker walks by when I'm choosing some, then they'll know!!!" Well lucky for me, while strolling around Walmart on my lunch break, the deodorant aisle is right next to "I'm On My Rag" aisle and yup, I ran into a MALE coworker who was looking for deodorant! Embarrassing right!? Well that was the first thought, until I realized it was my gay coworker. Pheewwww!

I definitely blame this insecurity on growing up with the boys, but I'm hopeful that by the time I'm 30 I'll be over it. Plus, I guess the only other thing that could be more embarrassing for me than running into someone I know while buying feminine products, would be talking about it on the internet... Look how fast I'm maturing. Go me!