This is what my sister in law Nikki looks like when she's angry...
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Angry In Laws
Can't Get Right
Yup, it's my new nick name. It amazes me that as a grown adult, there are just so many tasks that should still require parental supervision for me. I guess if there's any possible way to screw something up, I will.
Example 1: Music Concert:
My sister took me to the Mariah Carey concert as my Christmas present and of course we had our girls night all planned out which required very little to no effort at my part besides not being too hungover or drunk before the concert and be ready on time. She picks me up for the concert, we start gettin' our drank on, we do the whole "Let's try and find parking Downtown on a Saturday night" and start our walk in high heels from the parking garage to the venue. Well of course half way there I realize I left my damn ticket in the car which was parked like 3 blocks back... I know some of you are thinking only 3 blocks but I'm from a city that you really never walk anywhere because it's so damn hot out all the time. Plus I'm wearing 4 inch heels and sightly buzzing, so that shit is far! On my long walk back and forth I just thought 'How could I possibly manage to forget the only thing I actually need for a concert?!'. All was ok though because that diva Mariah was only FORTY minutes late for her show.
Example 2: Spring Training Game
My family is from Chicago. Both of my parents were born and raised there, so of course half of my family are White Sox fans and the other delusional half are Cubs fans. In Arizona we are blessed to have awesome weather in March which starts the MLB Spring Training season. So when the White Sox play the Cubs, Chicago fans instinctively flow in like the salmon of Capistrono. Well this year I purchased 8 tickets online for myself and other family members and told them I would print them out. We planned on meeting up at a local watering hole then head to the game from there. Well unbeknownst to me, my Mom had decided to print her 4 tickets too so when we were at the bar, she told me and I put 4 of the tickets back in my car. We leave the bar in high spirits, find parking, walk all the way up to the field, and our adrenaline is pumping seeing all the fans exchange trash talk. Then we start getting our tickets scanned only to find out my Ma and I both had the same set of 4 tickets... Mutha... EFF! It wouldn't be that big of a deal for me to walk back to my car and get the other 4 tickets... if my car was the one we actually drove to the ballpark! My car with our Golden Tickets was still in the parking lot of the bar miles away. Luckily, we were able to get our other tickets from the box office to enjoy the game. My bad!
Do you really need one more? Ok.
Example 3: Frozen Pizza
This weekend my ninja sister in law and I decided we would be bums and stay home on Saturday night for movies and some frozen pizza. I preheat the oven to 400 degrees, take the pizza out of the box and plastic wrapping then throw it on the oven tray and pop that baby in. 20 minutes later the timer goes off, I check it and it looks like it needs a few more minutes. When it's ready I get it out of the oven, let it cool off then use my pizza cutting skills acquired as a former Pizza Hut employee and hand Ninja her pizza slices. After a bite, she says to me "This is totally not done". My first reaction is to say "You're face isn't done!", but then I look at the pizza on the oven tray and realize no, it's not done at all and our pizza has a layer of cardboard on the bottom of it!! Apparently I didn't remember that all frozen pizzas have that cardboard layer at the bottom and that doesn't go in the oven with the pizza. Note to self for next time: Delivery, not DiGiorno.
Thank God I don't live on my own.
Example 1: Music Concert:
My sister took me to the Mariah Carey concert as my Christmas present and of course we had our girls night all planned out which required very little to no effort at my part besides not being too hungover or drunk before the concert and be ready on time. She picks me up for the concert, we start gettin' our drank on, we do the whole "Let's try and find parking Downtown on a Saturday night" and start our walk in high heels from the parking garage to the venue. Well of course half way there I realize I left my damn ticket in the car which was parked like 3 blocks back... I know some of you are thinking only 3 blocks but I'm from a city that you really never walk anywhere because it's so damn hot out all the time. Plus I'm wearing 4 inch heels and sightly buzzing, so that shit is far! On my long walk back and forth I just thought 'How could I possibly manage to forget the only thing I actually need for a concert?!'. All was ok though because that diva Mariah was only FORTY minutes late for her show.
Example 2: Spring Training Game
My family is from Chicago. Both of my parents were born and raised there, so of course half of my family are White Sox fans and the other delusional half are Cubs fans. In Arizona we are blessed to have awesome weather in March which starts the MLB Spring Training season. So when the White Sox play the Cubs, Chicago fans instinctively flow in like the salmon of Capistrono. Well this year I purchased 8 tickets online for myself and other family members and told them I would print them out. We planned on meeting up at a local watering hole then head to the game from there. Well unbeknownst to me, my Mom had decided to print her 4 tickets too so when we were at the bar, she told me and I put 4 of the tickets back in my car. We leave the bar in high spirits, find parking, walk all the way up to the field, and our adrenaline is pumping seeing all the fans exchange trash talk. Then we start getting our tickets scanned only to find out my Ma and I both had the same set of 4 tickets... Mutha... EFF! It wouldn't be that big of a deal for me to walk back to my car and get the other 4 tickets... if my car was the one we actually drove to the ballpark! My car with our Golden Tickets was still in the parking lot of the bar miles away. Luckily, we were able to get our other tickets from the box office to enjoy the game. My bad!
Do you really need one more? Ok.
Example 3: Frozen Pizza
This weekend my ninja sister in law and I decided we would be bums and stay home on Saturday night for movies and some frozen pizza. I preheat the oven to 400 degrees, take the pizza out of the box and plastic wrapping then throw it on the oven tray and pop that baby in. 20 minutes later the timer goes off, I check it and it looks like it needs a few more minutes. When it's ready I get it out of the oven, let it cool off then use my pizza cutting skills acquired as a former Pizza Hut employee and hand Ninja her pizza slices. After a bite, she says to me "This is totally not done". My first reaction is to say "You're face isn't done!", but then I look at the pizza on the oven tray and realize no, it's not done at all and our pizza has a layer of cardboard on the bottom of it!! Apparently I didn't remember that all frozen pizzas have that cardboard layer at the bottom and that doesn't go in the oven with the pizza. Note to self for next time: Delivery, not DiGiorno.
Thank God I don't live on my own.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
THEY KNOW!
I don't know why, but I still get embarrassed when I have to go to the store to buy feminine products. I'm a grown ass twenty-five year old woman! Why am I still slightly embarrassed when I have to go down this aisle of products? Could this be from my early stages of womanhood and living with 4 men in the house, I've brainwashed myself to keep this topic taboo and feel embarrassed by it? Possibly, I guess I'm just still immature in many ways... Oh the joy of having 4 brothers!!
I think it's funny cause I only feel embarrassed when there are men around. For instance, I always think: "What if a smokin' hot guy walks by when I'm grabbing some? Then he'll KNOW it's that time of the month and want to stay as far away from me as possible!". If a smokin' hot woman was next to me she would only pitty me then direct me to the nearest aisle full of chocolate bars. And then there's a more horrible thought: "What if some guy I know or coworker walks by when I'm choosing some, then they'll know!!!" Well lucky for me, while strolling around Walmart on my lunch break, the deodorant aisle is right next to "I'm On My Rag" aisle and yup, I ran into a MALE coworker who was looking for deodorant! Embarrassing right!? Well that was the first thought, until I realized it was my gay coworker. Pheewwww!
I definitely blame this insecurity on growing up with the boys, but I'm hopeful that by the time I'm 30 I'll be over it. Plus, I guess the only other thing that could be more embarrassing for me than running into someone I know while buying feminine products, would be talking about it on the internet... Look how fast I'm maturing. Go me!
I think it's funny cause I only feel embarrassed when there are men around. For instance, I always think: "What if a smokin' hot guy walks by when I'm grabbing some? Then he'll KNOW it's that time of the month and want to stay as far away from me as possible!". If a smokin' hot woman was next to me she would only pitty me then direct me to the nearest aisle full of chocolate bars. And then there's a more horrible thought: "What if some guy I know or coworker walks by when I'm choosing some, then they'll know!!!" Well lucky for me, while strolling around Walmart on my lunch break, the deodorant aisle is right next to "I'm On My Rag" aisle and yup, I ran into a MALE coworker who was looking for deodorant! Embarrassing right!? Well that was the first thought, until I realized it was my gay coworker. Pheewwww!
I definitely blame this insecurity on growing up with the boys, but I'm hopeful that by the time I'm 30 I'll be over it. Plus, I guess the only other thing that could be more embarrassing for me than running into someone I know while buying feminine products, would be talking about it on the internet... Look how fast I'm maturing. Go me!
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Summer Blues
Hello there! No, I haven't forgotten I started this blog, I've just been in a bit of an emo / "summer blues" mood the last couple of weeks for various reasons. Some of which include: Summer almost being over, monetary shortage issues, hitting that "I'm 25 and at the bar at 10:30AM, WTF am I doing with my life?" and I don't want to grow up, I'm a Toys'R'Us kid stage. Well the other day I was scolded by a friend for not writing recently and how "The perfect time to blog is when you're down, it makes for dark humor".... No thanks Daria. I do what I want!! I find it better to share thoughts and feelings with others when I'm happy and annoying, rather than feel like I'm spreading emo feelings across the web.
*Bell dings and I switch to Upward Facing Dog*
Now back to lovely thoughts, most of my close friends know that this Summer I've had an obsession with the color Blue. Blue nail poish in about 5 different shades that I've worn repeatedly, blue peacock necklaces, blue skies to sit under & soak up the scorching AZ sun (with a blue bottle of sunscreen handy), blue shirts that I feel compliment my skin tone, and now...
wait for it...
Blue shoes.
-Commence drooling
http://www.payless.com/
Now with Summer coming to an end and everyone returning to their boring "work, school, eat, sleep" schedules, I felt saddened because I thought all the fun was over and I'd have to go back to being a responsible adult. Nope, all the fun isn't over thanks to online shoe shopping aka SATAN! These "Blues" would make me a happy camper any day of the week, especially since they are a deep Fall toned color!! At least I'll go back to being a responsible adult looking totally fabulous!! -I say that in my most annoying Valley Girl voice because that's how much these shoes excite me since they are only $30! :)
It hasn't sunk in my brain yet that Fall is pretty much upon us, probably because we're still at a high of 111 degrees in the Valley of the Sun and will be for at least another month. But these past couple of months have been eye opening and eventful learning experiences with many ups and downs, which I plan to move forward from while strutting these Blue beauties ;)
-Insert cliche quote about letting the storm pass to see the rainbow after or however it goes, blah blah blah
Ciao my lovelies!
xoxo
*Bell dings and I switch to Upward Facing Dog*
Now back to lovely thoughts, most of my close friends know that this Summer I've had an obsession with the color Blue. Blue nail poish in about 5 different shades that I've worn repeatedly, blue peacock necklaces, blue skies to sit under & soak up the scorching AZ sun (with a blue bottle of sunscreen handy), blue shirts that I feel compliment my skin tone, and now...
wait for it...
Blue shoes.
-Commence drooling
Now with Summer coming to an end and everyone returning to their boring "work, school, eat, sleep" schedules, I felt saddened because I thought all the fun was over and I'd have to go back to being a responsible adult. Nope, all the fun isn't over thanks to online shoe shopping aka SATAN! These "Blues" would make me a happy camper any day of the week, especially since they are a deep Fall toned color!! At least I'll go back to being a responsible adult looking totally fabulous!! -I say that in my most annoying Valley Girl voice because that's how much these shoes excite me since they are only $30! :)
It hasn't sunk in my brain yet that Fall is pretty much upon us, probably because we're still at a high of 111 degrees in the Valley of the Sun and will be for at least another month. But these past couple of months have been eye opening and eventful learning experiences with many ups and downs, which I plan to move forward from while strutting these Blue beauties ;)
-Insert cliche quote about letting the storm pass to see the rainbow after or however it goes, blah blah blah
Ciao my lovelies!
xoxo
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Chi Town Update
The city is awesome as always, and there's extra extra people everywhere thanks to Lolapalooza being in town this weekend. I swear yesterday I seen James Franco's brother walking when the show was over! I forget his name, but he's just good looking as his brother. Anyways, yesterday we spent the day at Navy Pier and Millennium Park. The breeze is amazing and night time in Downtown is even more amazing. There's so much going on all the time I wish I could live here just for the summer. Kinda like how Snow Birds come down to Arizona in the winter to escape the cold, I can escape the dry & empty downtown for humidity & fun. I really need to get on finding that sugar daddy! Maybe tonight when we have some adult fun and go out! Chicka Chicka Yeaaauuhh!
On today's agenda is our family reunion, which should be great! Wish me luck in the forrest preserves. Heat + humidity + mosquitoes = getting extra drunk so I feel nothing! Oh yeah, I'll probably need someone to take me for a blood transfusion when I get home too. Toodles!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)