Wednesday, November 30, 2011

A male coworker just walked by and I noticed that he had some small white thing on his back pocket of his black pants. I tell him to come back and of course teases me for checking out his ass so I disappointed him and pointed out that a big white spot on black pants would catch anyone's eyes.
His hands are full so he turns around and I informed him "I'm not fondling you, just helping you out" when I pull the string off he says "WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE!! I work out!". This guy is 41.
I am literally shaking my head. Literally.
I hate when random coworkers start chatting about their weight in front of you then pause and look at you to see if you have any input. I just want my coffee, I don't know you well enough to tell you "Yeah it's definitely time for you to hit that elliptical. Now please move so I can get the Splenda."

Monday, November 28, 2011

Cybermania

Is there really a reason to fight a soccer mom in the suburbs for that Wii or TV on Black Friday when you can just get it online Cyber Monday????

All this cyber talk makes me want to cybernate and stay offline. No cybersex for me tonight.

It's like Spanish



So my sister and I were going through NetFlix this weekend and happened to come across Romeo + Juliet and we both agreed to watch it cause neither of us haven't seen it in forever. Well this scene is about as far as we got before we had to change movies. I told her I felt like I was watching a movie in Spanish and couldn't understand what the funk was going on cause that whole Shakespeare dialogue was ridic. The only reason I kind of wanted to continue watching it was because Michael from LOST was in it dressed in drag and wearing a white wig. It's one of those things you see that you want so badly to look away, but you can't. I wish I was more into that whole Shakespeare stuff so I could've watched the whole thing. It is a good movie, I just need subtitles.

5 Day Weekend

I spent half of it at my local watering hole and the other half in my bed.
I am thankful for PTO.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Sticky Tape!!

Since it's Thanksgiving week, I figured I'd share something I'm truly thankful for...
Friendship

I am bountifully blessed in the Friendship department. Each and every friendship I have is so different and special in it's own way, and I am so grateful for all of them. This week I am especially grateful for the one with my favorite guy pal. My bestest buddy Jared came in town from Cali this weekend and we partied it up just like we used to back in our teen days. This friendship is super special to me because it's kinda hard to come across good friendships with the opposite sex. Usually emotions slash hormones get involved, one person starts wanting more than just friendship, all that lovey dovey junk can get in the way and ruin everything. We can still talk about relationships, family and all kinds of other drama just like how I talk with my girls, but it's more interesting to me because it's a guys perspective. I wish we could've hung out longer but I'm happy we had a chance to hangout at least for a day and take our shenanigans to the HNL.

Friends always come and go but it's comforting to know I have at least one good guy pal that I know will always be there even if he lives 6 hours away.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Let me get that handclap

A coworker and I were talking about our pet peeves when watching movies and her main one was the people who clap at the end of a movie in a theater, because no one actually "performed", so why the applause? I then bashfully confessed to her that I am one of those people she hates. Now I don't clap for every single movie I see, hell I go to the movies maybe like twice a year because I have the attention span of a 4 year old and cannot stand to be in that uncomfortable seat for 3 hours or more. But sometimes movies just end so good that I can't help but to express my gratitude and new found giddiness with a nice round of applause. I mean, it's either that or look over at the person next to you and give them a hug or high 5 because you're so filled with joy that there was a happy ending. That would be weird.



Here are some other pet peeves we came up with for movie watching:
  • Sitting with a person who's already seen the movie who insists on telling you "Oh my goodness I love this part" or "This is so scary" or "HAHAHA! THIS PART IS SO FUNNY, WATCH!" or something else to ruin what is about to happen that is supposed to be surprising.
  • Sitting with a person who's already seen the movie who feels the need to explain what just happened and how it ties to something that already happened or will tie to what is going to happen next. Like, I'm watching the movie too, I can figure it out on my own. Now I missed what they just said cause you were talking, damnit.
  • Teenagers in the movie theater. Either they're making out ridiculously loud or they're laughing ridiculously loud. Ridiculous! There should be a movie theater just for teens so they will stop annoying the shit out of the rest of the world. Of course there will be condoms in all the restrooms, duh.
  • (For me) Movie theaters all together and people who've already seen the movie.
We also agreed that movies at home are bad ass. You can wear PJ's, drink wine or beer without having to sneak it in and wait for that loud part in the movie to crack your can open, pause for a bathroom break or another drink, and fart without anyone giving you the stink eye (pun?). So, what are your movie watching pet peeves?

Uh oh,

I woke up this morning in full sarcasm mode. Watch out.

For all those who are easily offended:
just remember, I am kidding (maybe)

Monday, November 14, 2011

Yes,

I am immature.






You can never make the same mistake twice
Because the second time you make it, 
It's not a mistake...
It's a Choice.

Fashion Blogger


I adore this fashion blogger, she is so chic & casual at the same time. And she shares my love for Westies, she's got my vote :)

I have this obsession with the moon.
I can't help but to just stop & stare at its beauty and feel an overwhelming sense of tranquility run over me.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Make a wish

11-11-11
Sparklers! by derekskey

“Seek not that the things which happen should happen as you wish; but wish the things which happen to be as they are, and you will have a tranquil flow of life”
Epictetus

Happy Veteran's Day!

My Vet <3
Samuel R. Pacheco 
Served in WWII

This is one special Vet I am extremely thankful for, my Grandfather. Although I never met him, I heard he was quite the rascal and probably the reason sarcasm blatantly flows through the Pacheco bloodline.
Happy Veteran's Day to all!!

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Some packaged things

should really have motivational phrases on them. Maybe say something like: "You're almost there!!" or "Don't give up Buddy!" or "Tear it one more time & it's all yours!!!!"

I just want to drink my protein shake!!!!!!!

Inner Dialogue

Whenever you think to yourself, does your inner voice always sound like your normal voice? My imagination tends to get the best of me when I'm thinking and I noticed that my thoughts seem to have different accents whenever I think about certain situations in my head.

When I'm gossiping with Daria on the gangster, I always have this heavy New Jersey accent flowin' through my head and I imagine myself sitting there chompin' on a piece of gum so loud that she can hear it through her computer. You know, just like classy ladies on the East Coast would trash talk people.
i.e. Me: I'm SHORE she will have some'um bad to say about her. I mean, who doesn't she say anything beead about? *smacking gum loudly*

My funniest inner dialogue is when I'm chatting with my cousin on the gangster. It's like a mix of a straight up BonQuiQui hoodrat fresh out of the Compton projects and a valley girl straight outta the Scottsdale Fashion Square mall. Read on:

me: knee garowwwwS: What is up foo! Sooooo you missed out on the crazy bill debate at Texas last night
  ur mom was getting gansta with the waiters bcuz they put everyones tab together and gave us a pen to figure out who got what. It was pretty hilar!
me: oh em gee, thats why i hate going out to eat with everyone!
  and yeah, wtf is their deal!? they always split it!
S: I know. It was craziness. We didn't leave there til 1040!!!
 me: daaaaaang! i hope you guys didn't tip!
S: They included the tip in everyones total.
 me: oh shit thats right, i would've complained!
  throwed some bows in that bitch then square danced on the table and said YIPPEE KAY YAY MONKEY MAN!
 im having a sugar rush!
 S: lol. I think ur mother drank too much when she was preg with yo crazy ass!
 me: seriously!!!!!!
  I so sorry fo yo moda
 S: Speaking of drinking Its NIKOLAS Bday officially todow!! Lets get wasted!
 me: HELLS YES! FROSTING WASTED! So what time are we making cupcakes?!
 S: I get out at 6 so like 645?
  And I got wine foo.
 me: wine makes me sleepy... and whinny
 S: U make me sleepy n whinny
 me: exactly! Cause I'm sooooooooo smooth ;) ;)
 S: Umm not really. cuz ur boring!me: yo face is boring!
 S: Sooo. Where r u and the hubby going for your date?
  
  me: Ew. Grosssssssss
 no husband or ex husband of mine will ever have "corn rolls" unless it's muthafucking T.I.
  Anyways, we are going to a romantic lil pizzeria in downtown Glendale followed by romantic drinks at Pinks cabaret the strip club, jk
 S: lol, Seriously u come up with some random shit!
 me: lol! don't hate
 S: I dont know about youme: well know dis... I am your fatherrrrS: Wow

Why, Yes. I'll Have 1 Deftones

Don't know what to drink? Well what are you listening to?

drinkify

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

I've been feeling like the 3rd Gucci Mane allllllllll day!


Straight Today, Gay Tomorrow


Really? I mean there had to be at least one moment in his straight Rugby playing life where he checked out his teammates junk in the shower and thought he'd like to have some of that. Some feeling deep down inside of him (pun intended) that always steered him towards men but he just refused to believe it, then used waking up from a coma as a legit excuse to live his life the way he really wants to. And he should... but I wouldn't buy that he was completely straight before the stroke.

If I were to ever wake up from a coma, an Australian accent would be an awesome surprise.

When men take phone messages


Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Nerd Alert!


Dear World,

Today begins a new era. Nerds all around the world will rage, relationships will be broken, friendships will bond, and the internet just might crash. There's a good chance at least one of your loved ones will have the lives sucked out of them... all thanks to MW3 being released today.


Postsecret.com



Monday, November 7, 2011

Sheck it out!!

Blog by my kick butt Fam

verballyattackedbysak: We Are not The Same..Im a MuthaF*kin Alien

I'm ready!

Today I have this overwhelming feeling of giddiness that I just can't shake. I'm excited, nervous, and I have butterflies in my stomach. I feel like something great is going to happen. The best part is that I'm not quite sure what brought on this feeling, maybe it's the awesome weather we're having in Phoenix or maybe cause someone special is about to come strolling through my life.

Whatever it is... I'm ready. 
Smiley face.

Friday, November 4, 2011

Stranger Danger

Top Three:

1
While I was walking to meet a friend before church, before noon, wearing a dress: “Yeahhh, walk of shame!!!”


6. 
Drunk Girl: "So, when are you due?"
Me: "I'm not pregnant."
Drunk Girl: (shocked) "No! You're TOTALLY pregnant!"
Me: "...I'm. Not. Pregnant."
Drunk Girl: (confused) "...Are you SURE?"
Me: "I'm going away now."



9
Halloween. My girlfriend was dressed as a Bavarian beer maid and I, also female, was dressed as a fairy. We took our kids up to one door. 
A middle aged woman gave the kids some candy and said, "A beer maid. You need bigger boobs." 
Then looked at me. "And you," she said. "You're supposed to be a girl, right?" "Everyday," I said.


Check out the rest of the Amusingly Horrible Things Strangers Have Said 


Have a fantastic weekend people!!

The Best Things I Used Google For This Week

5.) Puking pumpkins

4.) Richard in The Break Up - I swear this is a character in a movie! 

3.) Pinterest - Only to be told by the internet that right now I'm not quite cool enough to join on my own but if it feels like sending me an invite in the near future, I will receive one via email.

2.) Beyonce & Justin Timberlake single ladies SNL

1.) "How do I make a song on my iTunes into a ringtone" So I could fix my Ma's ringtone back to her normal "Party All The Time" by Eddie Murphy for my new iPhone.
I really do heart Google

I went to a MOVIE PREMIERE!!!!!!

SIKE! So yesterday Iago aka BFF & I went to see a private movie screening of Martha Marcy May Marlene and let me tell you... I thought it was a waste of two hours of my life. It sounds very interesting from the description, but that was the only interesting part. It had a sort of Girl, Interrupted vibe to it, but with no well put together plot. And then it was one of those movies that you're almost two hours into and BAM! It's over, just like that leaving you wondering to who the hell would fund production for such a movie.
Although we didn't enjoy the actual plot of the movie, we agreed that Elizabeth Olson is a really good actress & that will probably lead to this not-so-really-good movie winning some sort of crazy movie award. But if you really want to see it just cause you're Curious George, then I'd recommend getting it on bootleg; don't waste $11 on it.

It's Friday Bitches!

Thursday, November 3, 2011

You know what chaps my ass?

Needing an "invitation" to create an account for a website that millions of people have.
Fuck you Pinterest & Spotify


Girlfriends

"My girlfriends are everything to me. They celebrate with you, they cry with you, they hold you when you need to be held. 
They laugh with you. 
They’re mean with you! 
They’re always there, and it’s just a priceless thing to have."
Jennifer Lopez - Glamour

Glamour.com



I guess

I'm not the only one currently obsessing over eyeliner looks right now.
Here
Here
and Here.

This was my fave because I am obsessed with blue eye makeup!! I wish my bottom lashes were this long!

Whenever I dream of someone random

I always wonder if they dreamt of me too...

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

iDid It!!

iGot my iPhone on my lunch break like my coworker told me not to because I would be completely unproductive for the remainder of the day.

Oh.
Well.

Calling All Phoenicians

The time has finally come


Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Carrie & Big

A Part of me wishes this is where she would've left it off with Big. I still don't think he's right for her. These last two episodes are my favorite!! And this is my favorite scene! The dialogue, the dress and the DISS! Sorry Big lovers!

Ladies, Please Rememeber

No Shave Movember month does not apply to women.
Keep it clean.

Yeah, This is how I feel after Halloween fun

Guess which one I am?!

Don't You Just Hate It When

You come across someone's Facebook profile and think to yourself, "Man we'd be awesome friends". But you can't just randomly request them, even if we have 61 mutual high school friends. That would be borderline creepy as if stalking them on Facebook wasn't creepy enough!! ugh.