Deal or No Deal?

I came across this Glamour article today about the hanging testicles men like to put on the back of their trucks and all I have to say is: Why, men? Just... Why? Anyways, the article also mentions a "No Fat Chicks" sticker, which I would be completely fine with if there was a "No Small Dicks" sticker for women's cars. But even if there was one, we wouldn't use it. Maybe stick it to the front of our bedroom doors, but we most certainly wouldn't have the audacity to place one on our cars. Why? Because we are women and we have class and we'd like to date someone, someday.

This started making me think about my deal breakers for guys who I wouldn't date, and I know what you're all thinking... YES I have standards! Ugh... Read on for some I could think of.

• The man cruising down the streets, windows down while it's 100+ degrees out, stereo blasting, wearing the "I Love Haters" hat. Ok, really any man who wears anything that says that. Even a key chain with this will disqualify him.
• The man who constantly talks about himself and all of his accomplishments or life struggles he's overcome. Get a diary or a dog.
• The man who is at the strip club every.single.week. Perverted much!
• The man who is a Negative Ned and extremely bitter towards all women. Sounds like someone's just been dumped!
• The man who likes to brag about all the money he spends "at da club, poppin' bottles of henny". Way to be humble and attract gold diggers.
• The man who is a jerk to his own friends... a relationship between the two of you isn't looking very promising.
• Mama's boys who are proud of being Mama's boys.
• The man who still lives with his ex girlfriend.
• The man driving around with either the No Fat Chicks sticker or the No Small Dicks sticker.

And my favorite deal breaker of my BFF's:
If he buys you a Toyota Corolla with a big red bow on it. I mean...

WHO buys someone a TOYOTA COROLLA!?

ESPECIALLY with a big red bow on it like it's a Mercedes Benz or something?

Now THAT, is an acceptable gift that says 'I would like to date you'.

(Yes, my friend is a spoiled little Arabic Princess in case you were wondering.)

I'm sure there are some more deal breakers I just can't think of right now, so if you have any good ones, feel free to share :)