If I ever happen to get another dog

I'm going to name him Calvin.  



Over.

Yes Please!

Kaboodle

Happy Halloween!

It only took me 2 work days to think this up then draw it and cut it out.
Thank God I don't have any real work to do.

Oops, forgot to include my weekend pics! Tricks n Treats!!!!!! ;)

Round 1

Rex Kwon Do & Cheshire Cat

Round 2

Mrs. Edward ScissorHands & Sexy Nerd

I Love This Show

WEDNESDAYS 9:30 / 8:30c

Beer Balls?

Nah, I prefer the term:

Liquid encouragement

Change

I was thinking about my Deal Breakers post from the other day and realized that sometimes after your new manfriend has had enough of playing his Prince Charming role, he might show his true colors and start to act like one of those guys. Then what do you do? Leaving just can't be THAT easy!!! I mean, you've dated him for a whole month and a half and have invested WAY too much time & feelings!! So you're best option is to stick around and wait for him to change.

Sure relationships change people after time, they are supposed to and they're supposed to change both people for the better. But you don't go into a relationship with someone you don't really like expecting to change their personality to your liking. Would you buy a horse and expect it to turn into a freaking unicorn? No, cause it's a horse!
It's so sad to think that people stay in relationships in hopes to change the other person or just wait around for that person to change. Instead of just saying "Well I tried, and you tried, and it's apparently not working so let's go our separate ways", they choose to stick around and try to "fix" this person themselves. The worst part is that some women think this change that will be brought on by consistent nagging, measly threats and holding back the vagina. Which is obviously not going to make either partner in this relationship any happier. Or maybe they ignore it; they stay in complete denial that they are bothered with their partner's actions and act as if nothing is wrong and then they marry that person to live happily ever after.

A while ago I dated this guy who was cool to hangout with and had a dry sense of humor which I admire, but I noticed that his "dry humor" I once thought was silly and admirable, started turning into him just being an asshole. All the time. The night I had enough of it was when he picked a fight with me, accused me of being mad at him when I was definitely not, then when I told him I wasn't mad, he insisted I really was and after me saying "Well now I'm starting to get mad cause you're annoying me" he gave me the good old "Fuck you" and hungup on me. Yeah, this really happened! A 28 year old man told me "Fuck You" over absolutely nothing. Well that was definitely the deal breaker. Afterwards, I just thought to myself  "Ok, you want to go ahead and give me the 'Fuck You', well now that's definitely never happening and you can go ahead and fuck yourself'.
After about twenty something texts and God knows how many rejected calls later I finally agreed to speak to him. When I told him that it just wasn't going to work he gave me the whole "I know I can be harsh, but I'll change for you" speech and I just straight out told him "No thanks". I explained that I wasn't there to change him, and that "asshole" (I didn't use that term) was who he was and I wasn't going to deal with that because I didn't have to.

If you start dating someone and you find characteristics that you just really do not like about them, then move on to someone else. It is really that simple. There is no need to stick around and compromise your feelings. That's who they are, so leave and find someone who is more suitable for you. Why? Because you are a grown ass adult, now act like one. They will eventually find someone who likes them just the way they are, or more than likely they will realize no one likes those characteristics about them and change it themselves. The only change you can make, is your partner.

Change comes from within... not from someone else bugging the shit out of you.

I can do it MYSELF!!!!!!!

I want to make these for Friday  }:)

If you look hard enough, you can see the creepy girl behind the light =/

Simplicity

Via

I want to be

Here

Boone Hall Plantation

Ladies, Who's With Me?

Via

I always like to plan out my costumes a year in advance and I'm pretty sure next year I'm going to be this. It's kinda plain tho so I'll have to add some design and RED to it.  Also, I feel like I should have some fellow Mariachi girls with me, so anyone who wants to do it with me let me know   }:)

I Miss You

My baby Basil :(

I just realized

I've been at work for only one hour and I'm being a total judgmental bitch... But a funny one.
I need to remind myself of what I tell my nieces & nephews:

If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all.

My Clumsy Ass Definitely Needs These

Via

Friendly texts

Do you ever get that text from your friend that makes you really nervous and anxious? It might say something like 'Hey, can we meet up? I need to tell you something...' or ' I need a favor...'.
It's like 'Hey, I want to tell you something, but I'm going to wait for your response to build the suspense'.
(PS. Don't you hate it when people leave a text with the '...' at the end. It's like wtf does that mean? Spit it out and finish your fuggin' sentence, don't make me bite my freshly painted nails for something stupid!)

Or do you ever get that text from your friend and you just know right off the bat that they're highly intoxicated? It might say something like: 'Bitch!!!!!!!!!!!'.
Just a straightforward insult with extra, extra enthusiasm portrayed by an excessive amount of explanation points.

Now, do you ever get that text from your friend that is just straight up crazy talk and makes you question if they are super wasted or super sober, but makes you appreciate them even more for being a fucking weirdo? It might say something like 'Using only movie titles, describe the last shit you took'...

...Yeah, I have great friends.

Tricky Tricky

This last weekend's checklist:

• Attend Halloween Bunco Party
• Find headpiece & yellow glasses for Halloween costume
• Decorate house for Halloween party
• Exercise
• Tailgate
• Sleep

Although I did absolutely nothing this weekend except sleep and eat bad things due to a head cold , I managed to get up for my Booty Call this morning and head to the gym (yes, my "Booty Call" is working on my fitness so my booty be lookin' good!). I did attempt to hit a few fabric stores yesterday in search of my patriotic head gear, but I was unsuccessful. This costume is a lot harder to piece together than I imagined. I knew I should've bought everything right after 4th of July weekend dangit!!!
So now this week I have to make sure I get the last of my costume accessories, clean and decorate the house, and get rid of this cold before Friday evening. Wish me luck!!!!

I don't understand Tumblr, But I do understand this

Via

Baby Makin' Music

I just realized Rihanna is the new R. Kelly, all her songs are about boning.

This is a perfect picture of

Amera (left) & Me (right)

To My Friend CP

This Is Not A Diary.


That is all.

I Want A Boat

So everyone can look at me, cause I'll be sailin' on a boat!

I have this obsession with nautical striped shirts. I absolutely love them. When I wear one, it makes me feel like I should be on a small boat sailing (without getting sea sick) with the wind blowing my hair perfectly away from my face saying things like "Ahoy mate" and "Heading starboard" and "Where's the rum?". What's funny is that my sister in law told me just the other day that my brother has nothing but striped shirts too. Guess it runs in the fam.

Here's my ideal striped shirt outfit complete with oh so cute wedges!

Some people say horizontal stripes are not flattering for someone who's "full figured",  well I say if you feel confident in it, who gives a rat's ass what other people say or think? Now I realize the nautical stripes are more of a Spring/ Summer fashion look, but I like to squeeze mine in year round. This sweater looks super cozy for Fall / Winter and I want it now like Veruca with the goose laying golden chocolate eggs!

On another note, I guess if I never get a boat I could just go to prison. Stripes erry day! Yeah yeauuhhh!

I Love

using the emoticons on my work's instant messenger.

I Have A Dream...

Where all beer will be calorie free & exercise equipment will be considered a tax write off.
 All cute shoes are priced under $60 & never hurt your feet after dancing all night. 

Where there is no work on Mondays during football season & every Friday is always free mani/pedi days. 

Ladies night is acknowledged at ALL businesses.

And of course, All Men can & will be eaten equally.

That is my dream America.

Deal or No Deal?

I came across this Glamour article today about the hanging testicles men like to put on the back of their trucks and all I have to say is: Why, men? Just... Why? Anyways, the article also mentions a "No Fat Chicks" sticker, which I would be completely fine with if there was a "No Small Dicks" sticker for women's cars. But even if there was one, we wouldn't use it. Maybe stick it to the front of our bedroom doors, but we most certainly wouldn't have the audacity to place one on our cars. Why? Because we are women and we have class and we'd like to date someone, someday.

This started making me think about my deal breakers for guys who I wouldn't date, and I know what you're all thinking... YES I have standards! Ugh... Read on for some I could think of.

• The man cruising down the streets, windows down while it's 100+ degrees out, stereo blasting, wearing the "I Love Haters" hat. Ok, really any man who wears anything that says that. Even a key chain with this will disqualify him.
• The man who constantly talks about himself and all of his accomplishments or life struggles he's overcome. Get a diary or a dog.
• The man who is at the strip club every.single.week. Perverted much!
• The man who is a Negative Ned and extremely bitter towards all women. Sounds like someone's just been dumped!
• The man who likes to brag about all the money he spends "at da club, poppin' bottles of henny". Way to be humble and attract gold diggers.
• The man who is a jerk to his own friends... a relationship between the two of you isn't looking very promising.
• Mama's boys who are proud of being Mama's boys.
• The man who still lives with his ex girlfriend.
• The man driving around with either the No Fat Chicks sticker or the No Small Dicks sticker.

And my favorite deal breaker of my BFF's:
If he buys you a Toyota Corolla with a big red bow on it. I mean...

WHO buys someone a TOYOTA COROLLA!?

ESPECIALLY with a big red bow on it like it's a Mercedes Benz or something?

Now THAT, is an acceptable gift that says 'I would like to date you'.

(Yes, my friend is a spoiled little Arabic Princess in case you were wondering.)

I'm sure there are some more deal breakers I just can't think of right now, so if you have any good ones, feel free to share :)

Random thought

I've always heard women say that their feet grew after each kid...

I don't think I ever want kids now, I have too many cute shoes I've invested in this year!!

I think I found...

Heaven on the interwebs.

Polyvore.com

Please forgive me if this is really old news to everyone, but it's NEW to me so I'm pretty stoked about it!

Say You (me) just bought a pair of red skinny jeans and I'm You're not quite sure what all they would look cute with besides my Your black tops? Search whatever item (shirt, shoes, necklace, colors) you want and find something on there that is close enough to what you own or are thinking about owning, click it and it shows all kinds of different outfits you could rock with those red skinnies or gray pumps.


This is what it came up with when I searched the red skinny jeans:



You can even create "sets" aka outfits & accessories with the single clothing articles they have, like just the black pumps or just the striped shirt.
Now I noticed that almost all of the items on this site are for people who must just shit money on a daily basis because I seen a shirt for like $1100 and thought 'Oh hell to the Nawwww!' But obviously my poor ass is not shopping on this site, just using it for super cute outfit ideas.

Anyone else just as excited as me or know of other sites like this?