Literally... No, seriously

I don't know how many times this has happened... and why it still does:

The Text
Him: "What's up"

The Analysis
K: I don’t think it’s that much of an exaggeration to say that people who only text “what’s up” all the time should be banished to an island that is slowly sinking.
B: He sends this text to me every couple of weeks, on Friday nights.
K: Once a fortnight?!?
B: Yes. Once a fortnight.
K: He’s basically providing you with opportunities to reply "not much, wanna do it?"
B: I mean, yeah, he's just politely reminding me that he and his penis are still in the world.
K: Aren't he and his penis still dating a 19-year-old?
B: Yes, but he and his penis are nothing if not inclusive.
K: You should just start replying with literally everything you did that day.
B: Yes! Like, "Hey, not much! I had some crazy-good cereal this morning and walked my dog. She...shit...everywhere. Lol, gross. So I took her to the vet and the vet was like 'omg cute dog' and I was like 'omg I know right' and she was like 'haha but really your dog needs some heartworm medicine' and I was like 'fiiiiiine.' Then basically I was just at work all day! At lunch I painted my nails this really great coral pink color. Or really it's like, nectarine-y. It's hard to describe via text, want a pic?!?"


Read more on how girls over analyze text messages here , this woman is hilarious.
p.s. If I was smart I could just say I was hanging out with my boyfriend... even if he's imaginary, whatever will make these guys stop.